Inside Andy's Brain

Because Someday He Won't Want To

Because someday he won't want to.  If you are a father, or mother for that matter, what better motivation do you need to enjoy every moment with your child? 

I reflect on these words often and use them to remind me to cherish every opportunity I have with my son.  These words ensure that I don't take anything for granted with him no matter how trivial it may seem.  They remind me to involve him in as many aspects of my life as I can.  They grant me the patience to let him try again, no matter how many times. 

Because someday he will no longer want to have light saber battles with me.  Someday he will be too old to watch the Roadrunner with his dad.  Someday it will be too dangerous to have batting practice in the backyard (he almost broke my rib just the other day).  Time flies by.  No matter how many children you may have, each is different and it is impossible to replace these experiences once they are gone. Take advantage of the time you have with your kids they will grow before you know it. 

Someday he won't want to.  When I feel like I am too worn out for a game of catch or I just want to get a project done quickly, I say these words to inspire me.  When I have a bad day at the office and just don't feel like a game of Trouble, I am quickly put back in the right frame of mind.  The reward is immeasurable.  I look forward to a lifetime of great experiences with my son.  I have no doubt that he will continue to amaze me and make me proud.  However, I also make sure that I am getting the most out of today. 

 

 

Lessons from a Tough Week

I've had a tough week this week.  Sales results a little off my expectations, office politics testing my patience, and other issues that have piled up to make me very happy Friday has come.  However, the best thing about a bad week (other than the fact that it is over) is that I can reflect on it and realize that there are lessons to be learned. 

1. Things can always be worse.  It is important to keep things in perspective.  What seems like a bad experience is often nothing more than a blip on the radar when it comes to the big picture of your life.  Spend five minutes reading the news and this will be verified many times over.  Sometimes you just need to back up and look at things from a distance.  Quite often you will realize that the bad week you thought you had isn't really that bad after all. 

2. Don't bring things home.  Family and friends should not have to pay the price for your crabby mood.  The quickest way to make a bad week even worse is to let your attitude spread like a virus to all parts of your life.  Now, sometimes a talk with a loved on can be the perfect cure for a bad week.  Just be sure that you are not spreading venom.  Instead use that time to discuss what is bothering you and look for a solution.

3. Don't let things fester.  Sometimes the quickest way to create confrontation is to attempt to avoid it.  Letting problems grow unchecked only creates pent up animosity and often turns smaller problems in to major issues.  If you are having a problem - address it candidly and move past it. 

4. Don't bitch - fix.  Like many of us, I like to complain.  I did that plenty this week - and in my mind, I had plenty to complain about.  Complaining fixes nothing - in fact, it only makes things worse as others are dragged into your problems.  If something is bothering you address it AND work to find a solution.  Anyone can complain, there is very little skill involved.  But, the person who offers solutions to problems is the person who makes things happen. 

5. Look for the skills in everyone.  It is hard for me to believe this sometimes, but not everyone in the world is out to get me.  More often than not, people are trying to do their best.  They are working hard to do what they believe is in the best interests of the company, themselves, and their families.  At times, we need to step back and see things from another perspective.  Perhaps we are causing bad days for others. 

I'd like to say I put all these lessons into practice, but I'd be telling a fib.  Hindsight for me is always 20/20.  However, reflecting on this week will hopefully help me deal with the next bad week that rolls around more effectively. 

The Ballpark Should Be Safe

I am still having a very difficult time comprehending the recent attack on Giant's fan Bryan Stow.  Have we really reached the point where a man's life can be forever changed simply because of the team he roots for? 

I grew up a Philly fan for the most part - and yes, I am well aware of the earned (and unearned) stereotypes.  I admit that I have been known to talk a little trash to fans of the opposing team - especially when they are friends of mine.  However, I just can't imagine a scenario where I would want to do physical harm to someone simply because he is wearing a jersey form another team.  At the end of the day it's just a game. 

Incidents like this seem to be on the rise.  We all remember the fan in Philadelphia who thought it would be cool to throw up on a young girl.  Have we as humans lost our minds?  I wonder what these people think the morning after?  Is there regret?  Or have we become so self absorbed and desensitized that we are able to justify anything that we do regardless of the pain that we cause to others.  I really don't know the answer. 

I have a five year old son - who is incidentally, also a Phillies fan.  We live in Florida and our best chance to see them is when they play the Marlins.  Events like the two described above make me think twice about taking him to see the them. 

I think we can all learn from this experience.  We need to remember that it is just a game and that we should respect all those who want to enjoy it.  Bryan Stow tried to enjoy a game and because he rooted for the away team, someone felt that his head should be beat in.  I pray for his full recovery and for his family. 

Lessons from The Last Lecture

I recently finished reading "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.  By now, who isn't familiar with the story of the Carnegie Mellon professor who, when diagnosed with terminal cancer, delivers his last lecture as a testimony to his three young children.  The book is amazing and incredibly impact full, especially given the circumstances.  It is a must read for anyone. 

One of my favorite passages of the book involves an experience Randy had with his young nephews.  He had his own children later in life and took interest in his nephews.  One day, he went to pick them up in his brand new convertible.  The children's mother was concerned that the kids may make a mess in the car.  Suddenly, Randy opened a can of cola and promptly emptied said can directly onto the seat of the car.  He didn't want the children to be concerned about the car and thus enjoy theirtime together less.  He said that at the end of the day, no possession is worth more than the happiness of a child. 

What an incredible act and an even more important lesson.  It is amazing how often in life we allow the little things to distract us from what is truly important.  I am ashamed to admit that I would be like the mother, worried stiff that food or dirt would be spilled in my new car.  The irony is that I rarely keep a car for very long - and, once gone, it barely registers in my memory. 

How often do we allow trivial possessions or events to interfere with relationships that are so important to us?  At the end of the day, when it is time for your last lecture, are you going to remember the guy that cut you off on the way home from the store or the joy of the family you are leaving behind?  Will you be thinking of that cool stereo you owned in high school or the dear friends you have made along the way?  When your turn on the ride is up - what matters are the relationships you have made and the joy you bring to others.  That is your legacy - nothing else comes close. 

I want to thank Randy for making this so clear.  Read the book.  It is obvious that his legacy is strong and lasting.

John Tyner's Inalienable Right to Fly?

When did flying become an inalienable right?

I am amazed by the uproar and backlash caused by airport screening these days.  The latest being software engineer John Tyner who’s videoed confrontation in a San Diego airport has become the YouTube flavor of the week. 

Mr. Tyner feels that x-ray scanning and / or pat downs are a government invasion of privacy.  He eloquently informed the screener "If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested."  Of course, he is not the only person who feels this way.  As a frequent traveler, I hear all kinds of complaints and opinions on how wrong this type of screening is. 

Now, I have no problem with people who feel violated or embarrassed by screening procedures.  I certainly understand how someone could feel uncomfortable with the concept of scanning or the areas that need to be checked in a pat down.  However, what I don’t understand is some of these people feel that they are being wronged.  That government is invading their privacy.  This couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Flying is not a God given right.  There are many other options for travel including busses, trains, cars, bikes, and even your own two feet.  Granted, these may not be as practical, but in most cases your “junk” is safe.  When you fly, you are purchasing a service.  It is a service that comes with rules and guidelines.  If you don’t agree with those rules, guess what?  You don’t have to get on the plane – there is no gun pointing at your head! 

I agree with the procedures in place and the efforts of the TSA to ensure the safety of every flight.  We cannot afford to be lax simply because John Tyner is concerned about his “junk” or is worried that a person in another room can see a white outline of his naked body.  If a mistake is made, many people will be killed both in the plane, and possibly, on the ground.  There are very few second chances in these cases. 

Are the current procedures and technology perfect?  No, as we have seen with the shoe bomber and the near miss at Christmas, people will keep trying to beat the screeners.   However, until we have a better way, this is the way it has to be.  I fly a lot and I want the reassurance that the TSA is doing everything it can to protect me.  Mr. Tyner does not agree with me.  He disagrees with the tactics of the TSA.  That freedom of speech is his right.  Flying on a plane isn’t.  So, to Mr. Tyner and others like him, I have one thing to say.

Take a train!

Control Your Environment - Is 62 Degrees Warm or Cold?

My son had his last t-ball practice this evening.  He did very well and has shown a great deal of improvement this season, but that’s another story.  Other than the improved play of my four year old, the practice was remarkable for how cold it felt on the field.  After a long Florida summer, a cold front is moving thru.  And in spite of my jacket and jeans, I could not seem to keep warm on the field.  As soon as I turned on the car after practice, I quickly realized why I was so frozen – the thermometer had dropped to a brisk 62 degrees (northerners can take this moment to snicker at my thin blood). 

Now what makes this particularly ironic is that I lived in Buffalo, New York growing up.  Back in high school 62 degrees meant it was time for a dip in the pool.  Heck, I used to celebrate the beginning of spring wearing outrageous shorts and Hawaiian shirts with the temperature barely breaking 50.

It’s funny how   a change in environment affects your interpretation of reality.  What was once a comfortable, warm temperature has become virtually arctic now that I live down south.   I haven’t physically changed (in fact, if anything I am now more insulated than I was back then), rather, I have become influenced by my surroundings and my reality has become altered. 

Our surroundings and environment are in constant change.  A new project at work, new friends, changes in leadership, and so on affect our view of reality.  People, places and things take on different meanings when viewed thru a new reality.  Realizing the effect of our surrounding s on our perceived reality can be a very powerful tool.   Understanding that you can change your reality simply by changing your environment, you unlock a key to happiness. 

A friend of mine resigned from his job recently.  The position was not a good fit for him and he was not enjoying his work.  He said he knew he had to make a change once he realized the negative impact on his life outside the office.  He had become irritable and did not take as much enjoyment from people and activities that once brought happiness.  He had a good position with a growing company, but he had to make a change.  He had to find a new environment to live in.  Since he left, he has rediscovered the joys that he had been used to. 

Changing your environment is rarely easy – in fact it can be quite scary sometimes.  However, if you do not like the environment you are living in – you do have the power to change it and change your reality in the process.  I decided that I wanted to be cold at 62 degrees.  So I left a great job, a good group of friends, and familiar surroundings and moved to Florida.  That was 10 years ago and I still love my new environment as much as the day I got down here. 

Today I Am Part of the Solution

While I was contemplating my willingness to wait in line to vote on Tuesday, my wife raised an interesting point.  She said that if I am not willing to get out and vote, then I don’t get to complain about those who are in office.  In short, if I am not part of the solutions, I don’t get to complain about the problem. 

Our company is having their annual holiday party this weekend.  My assistant (who also is on our sunshine committee) has been doing an incredible job organizing the festivities.  It is going to be a great event.  However, as I watch her during the day, I am amazed by the number of people who complain about everything from the food to the cold front that is moving in.  Today she got a good piece of advice from another co-worker.  The next person to complain is going to be asked to join the committee for next year.  In short, if you are going to complain about the problem – then you need to become part of the solution.

While reflecting on both of those situations, I realized that society has become a collection of arm chair quarterbacks.  Complaining, bitching and moaning about everyone, everything, and every decision that they are faced with.  And yet, they take no action to resolve the issue or improve the situation.  They just point fingers and spread blame.  They become a much larger problem than any perceived issue or injustice that requires their opinion. 

I have often found myself caught up in this unproductive and destructive cycle.  I have wasted far too much time finding fault with everything I face while offering no help on what can be done differently.  Too often I have failed to contribute my knowledge and talents to help.  It is easier to critique from a distance and by doing so, I have been part of the problem.

America faces many challenges in the weeks, months, and years ahead.  These challenges require people who are able and willing to be a part of the solution.  They require people who will do more than just point fingers, blame and find fault.  It is not enough to reveal the faults of others.  We need to do more – we need to do something.

So I went out and voted (turns out the lines were not that bad).  I have offered to be a part of next year’s planning committee.  I am making the commitment that I am not going to complain unless I have a solution that I am willing to offer.  Small steps, yes – but steps in the right direction.  Today I am part of the solution. 

Today I am part of the solution!

The Squirrel

My three year old son brought home a birdfeeder that he made at pre-school the other day.  I am sure that we are all familiar with the rice cake covered in peanut butter and birdseed with fishing wire for hanging.  He was very proud of it and, of course, we rushed to the back yard to find a prominent place to hang it.  We found a branch on a young sapling that provided perfect viewing from the porch, hung the feeder and went inside to watch the birds feast. 

As luck would have it, no birds came.  I guess there is plenty to eat for birds in Florida or maybe we just missed dinner time.  Either way, my son became bored and went inside to play with his trucks.  I was about to join him when I noticed that our feeder had attracted someone’s attention after all.  Perched on a wire running near the top of the sapling was a hungry squirrel. 

Now this squirrel had a bit of a problem.  The bird feeder was at the end of a branch that he could not reach from his spot on the wire.  The squirrel began to make several attempts to reach his meal.  First he tried to jump to the branch.  Unfortunately, the young branch was too thin to support the landing and he fell to the ground.  Undeterred, the squirrel climbed back up a second tree and tried to reach the feeder.  Alas, the branches were too far and he could not. 

The determined squirrel did not give up and climbed into the sapling tree.  He began testing several branches to see if they would hold his weight.  Slowly inching his way out onto each one until the bend of the branch almost caused him to fall.   He would then back away and try again.

I was enjoying watching the squirrel work thru his problem, impressed with the systematic approach he was using.  I realized that there was a branch that would both support his weight and get him close enough to the feeder to eat.  Finally, the squirrel found this branch.  I smiled as he made his way out onto the branch.  The branch did indeed hold his weight and he was now only a couple of feet away from his snack.  Then an interesting thing happened.  He stopped, turned around and went back to the wire.  He sat there for a moment and then ran off. 

This squirrel spent twenty minutes trying to reach the birdfeeder.  Each time he failed, he went back and tried a new approach.  Finally, with his goal just beyond his reach, he quit.  Perhaps his frustration finally got to him.  Maybe he really was not as hungry as he thought he was or his fear of falling outweighed his need for a meal. 

I think that if we work hard and smart enough and show persistence, we can accomplish anything we want to.  The important thing though is to decide up front how badly you want to achieve your goal.  Otherwise, like this squirrel, you may expend time and energy only to give up with your goal in reach. 

Lilly

On Friday, October 30^th we put our dog Lilly to sleep.  She was only five years old.  A week prior she was fine but then her appetite changed and she started acting lethargic.  Our vet performed several tests to figure out what was going on with her and we hoped that she would be back to her old self soon.  That Friday, we woke to find that she was having trouble breathing.  We had an appointment for Monday but decided that she probably couldn’t wait.  We discovered the tumors after x-ray’s were taken and made the decision to end her suffering. 

Lilly was a birthday present to my wife, Kim.  She wanted a beagle so I contacted a local rescue and got on a waiting list.  I got a phone call indicating that two puppies were available for adoption.  They were part of a litter of 10 that someone left on the side of a road tied in a garbage bag.  A wonderful woman found the bag.  Unfortunately, eight of the puppies could not be saved. 

I was the first person on the waiting list and was given my choice of the two puppies.  When I got to the rescue, the other couple was already there holding both dogs.  Lilly was squirming around trying to get loose and I decided she was the one for us.  A week later we took her to our vet for a check-up.  He asked us what kind of dog she was and we replied that she was a beagle.  Imagine our surprise when he laughed at us and said that this dog was no beagle.   Instead, she was a hound mix that would grow to 50 plus pounds.  While this was unexpected, we had plenty of room and Lilly was already a member of our family. 

Kim and I got married soon after.  Lilly was our first “child”.  As she grew, she became an important part of our lives.  She was not always perfect – food was always in danger on the counters and she had a bark that could wake the dead (and boy did she try) – but we couldn’t imagine life without her.  Every time I came home, she greeted me like it was the best moment of her life.  Her tail wagged 100 miles per hour, she would yelp and bark, and I would get kisses all over.  I always felt better knowing that greeting was coming and she never failed to deliver. 

I never really understood how much I loved that dog.  Like most things in life, I didn’t fully appreciate her until she was gone.  I am sure there are people who will read this and think “it was just a dog, what is wrong with this guy?”  I feel badly for people who don’t understand the connection that forms with a pet.  Lilly was loyal to us unconditionally.  She was always ready to play and she seemed to know when we needed her around us. 

Now she is gone.  Three days later I am still in shock over the suddenness of her illness.  I still expect to hear her barking when the neighbors get home.  We cleaned the house on Saturday, collecting her toys, crate and food which we donated to the Humane Society.  The empty spot next to the couch where her bed was is a painful reminder of our loss. 

I remember getting her into the car on Friday.  Normally she jumps out of her skin for a chance to ride in the car but this time, she was too weak to get in and I had to lift her.  I put the windows down for her and fought back tears as I knew this was probably her last ride.  Somehow she managed to get up and stick her head out the window one last time.  She looked happy and carefree.  This is the way I will remember that day.  I hope she is somewhere where there are plenty of treats and lots of room to run.  Thank you, Lilly.  Five years was not nearly enough time.  I miss my dog. 

Jekyll and Hyde Customer Service

As a life-long student of sales, I have come to realize that the one thing you can do to ensure a long, successful career is - provide excellent customer service.  The customer is the salesperson's lifeblood.  I doubt there are many who would dispute this. Excellent customer service is mandatory, especially in this economic time.  Consumers have less money and they have more choices on where to spend it. 

Companies need to teach customer service to every single employee that they have.  They need to make customer service the number one priority for everyone top to bottom.  You never know who may one day be in contact with a customer and every single impression counts.  Years of good service can be compromised by a single bad experience.  Consider the following examples I had this past week. 

I use the same provider for my television, phone and internet.  I have been a customer for several years and have had no issues with the supplier until this month when I had two.  The first was handled perfectly, leaving me thrilled with my choice of provider.  However, less than a week later, we were considering leaving.

I began having trouble with my internet connection.  In the mornings, my signal would fluctuate causing me to lose my connection every 5 minutes or so.  I called the service department to have someone come and look.  After 15 minutes navigating thru a complex phone system, I finally got someone on the phone.  This person emphasized my situation and realizing that I work from home, quickly scheduled a call for the next morning.

The technician who arrived was outstanding.  He patiently explained what he thought was wrong (I am not very computer literate but he made sure I understood) and told me that the fix would require an additional call.  The hardware in a box outside my home was damaged and he could not fix that.  He put the call in to have the service scheduled and said it would be a day or two.  Three days later, he called to make sure the service was completed (even though it was not his responsibility to do so).  And, to top it all off, he called a few days later to ensure that everything was working properly – it was.  I was very impressed with his service and very happy with the company.

Three days later, my monthly bill arrived.  A mistake was made resulting in a $40.00 overcharge.  Apparently a promo rate that I was supposed to receive was missed.  I did not think this was a big deal and my wife called to have the charges corrected.  After wading thru the 15 minute phone maze, she was connected with someone in customer service. 

At first things went great.  He identified the error and apologized for the inconvenience. He told her that he was not authorized to credit the account and he would have someone call back that afternoon.  My wife did not hear back from anyone so the next day she called again.  She was told that they tried to call (not true – no calls came into my home) but no one answered.  Not wanting to cause a fuss, the comment was brushed off and my wife asked for the credit.  Again, the person on the phone could not help and she was told someone would call back.  She did not hear from anyone so two days later, she called back.  This time she was told that credit could not be given on the current bill and that we should just pay the incorrect amount.  They would credit the amount back on the next bill.  She was also told that the due date was that day and she was looking at a possible late fee.  I paid the bill.  I also started looking at other options for my service.  If the credit does not show up, the next call we make will be to the cancellation department.

Excellent customer service is not hard to provide.  All you need to do is put yourself in your customer’s shoes.  Do what you say you are going to do.  Tell the truth.  Genuinely try to help the customer solve their problem.  And, be courteous. 

Ten years of business is about to be lost over a simple billing error.  The company did not follow up on what they said they would do.  They obviously had no concern for the frustration my wife was feeling.  In short, they did not act like they were concerned about my business. 

At the end of the day, I will probably stay a customer.  My experience with the service tech probably will save the day.  The point is that this company almost lost a long time customer because customer service is not a company-wide priority.  How can a company allow its customer service group to treat a customer so poorly?  These people probably come in contact with more customers than any other group in the organization.  I hope that someone reviews this situation and provides proper feedback to improve. 

Or, maybe this company has so many customers; they don’t need to worry about losing one here and there.  In this day, I kind of doubt it.